I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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