I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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