I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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