I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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