Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.