i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
it wasn't lemon gatorade
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Randomize
