i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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