I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
