are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
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