i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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