She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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