She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
My ATM looks so different sober.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
