sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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