after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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