I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
