i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
