that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
It was confusing and full of hummus
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He's a Shit stain on my heart
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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