Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
