Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
