So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
