I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
