Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
