I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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