You're completely useless in the revolution.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
