Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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