Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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