Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Success! We fucked roommates!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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