I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My breasts were aching with rage.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
