I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
