these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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