this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
