She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
