The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
