hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
