I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
bring money and cleavage
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize