"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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