God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
MIDGETS
????
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
