He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
