sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
