I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
