I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Randomize
