I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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