Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
