I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
