Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize