3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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