Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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