His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
