If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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