You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
okay pat passed out under dana's car
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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