Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
