as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
my nose is crying tears of wow.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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