I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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