This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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