so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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