A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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