9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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