explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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