I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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