doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
