Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
