I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
