Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize