All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I have aggressive nipples.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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