Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
