I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
