he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
